Chocolate Pudding

I apparently have an insatiable need for chocolate in my life. I mean, I must, what with the way I keep finding ways around the Paleo/Primal restrictions to have my beautiful, delicious, silky chocolate. So here’s another chocolate recipe. Chocolate pudding. I was never a fan of the pre-packaged stuff, or even the mix you made with milk. My mom would make those, and they were OK.. they fed my need for sugar back when my body still wanted it all the time. But they never quite tasted like chocolate. Even then, I could taste chemicals. I’m having a very hormonal time in my life right now. Everything’s changing and I’m going absolutely nuts. So I made Alex get me some of those Andes creme de menthe things. And I’ll admit, they’re damn good. Alex HATES chocolate, and he stole several. I ran out, obviously, because that’s what happens when you give this girl chocolate, especially Andes. And Brookside’s “fruit” chocolates. But anyway. Today I was at a loss. I needed chocolate very, very badly. I also wanted some nice, hot, buttered bread. That clearly was not going to happen.

Enter Google. I needed to know what chocolatey goodness I could make with cocoa powder and honey. I found this recipe and said Oh. No. This is happening. And I got to work. I modified it – took out the coffee and the vanilla, changed the salt a bit, and used honey rather than maple syrup.

Ingredients:
1 can full fat coconut milk
1/2 cup unsweetened, unprocessed cocoa powder
1/2 cup unfiltered, uncooked honey
few light shakes sea salt

Method:
1. Shake the coconut milk really well, and then dump it into a medium saucepan. I used a small one, because I’m a rebel and digging around in the mess in this torn up house was just not happening. It worked fine, if a little bit of a tight fit. Whateva.
2. Add the cocoa powder. I whisked in 1/4 cup and then 1/4 cup again, rather than half all at once. It worked good that way.
3. Add the honey, and whisk again. Then shake some salt and whisk again.
4. At this point, go ahead and turn your stove on to about 6. Watch the pudding mix like a hawk! I am fully convinced that milk mixes like this wait to boil until you turn your back so you have to clean up a mess. I swear it’s a conspiracy or something. Or maybe it’s just me. That’s entirely possible also.
5. Once the milky mix boils, turn the heat down and simmer for 15 minutes. Milky mixes don’t exactly boil. They foam. So like I said, watch it like a hawk, because you won’t hear bubbly sounds to alert you.
6. While simmering for 15 minutes, keep an eye on it and whisk it frequently. You want air moving through it and you want it to thicken slightly.
7. When the 15 minutes are up remove the pan from the heat. Cool the mixture to room temperature, whisking occasionally to cool it evenly. Try not to eat it yet. really, try. I promise, though it’s fabulous now, It’s super fabulous after it’s been chilled.
8. Once it’s at room temperature, transfer it to an airtight container and chill in the fridge before eating. And by chill in the fridge I mean at least an hour.

Don’t be like me, sneaking into the fridge under the pretense of grabbing some kefir and “testing” the pudding. Don’t. Be. Like. Me. OK? That’s bad. Very bad.

thisisdelicious

And I promise, in my next post I’ll do something without chocolate.

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Blender Fudge – Semi-Paleo-Wannabe

Another semi-paleo-wannabe dessert. Because, let’s be honest. Even if a dessert completely follows the strict paleo/primal guidelines, it’s still semi-paleo-wannabe goodness. Cavemen didn’t eat desserts. At least, not that we know of.

Ingredients:
natural unsweetened unprocessed cocoa
one stick melted butter
sugar (or honey, for a paleo option)
1 teaspoon virgin expeller pressed coconut oil
dash salt

Additional, Optional Ingredients:
peanut butter (NOT paleo, but who doesn’t LOVE peanut butter fudge??)
cinnamon
nutmeg
pumpkin pie spice
mint
orange oil

Additionally, you can replace 1/2 stick of butter with coconut oil.

Method:
1. Place all ingredients into a blender. Blend.
2. Place saran wrap in a loaf pan, being sure to have plenty of extra.
3. Pour fudge mix into the pan.
4. Lightly fold the saran wrap over top of the mix and gently press down until the mix is however thick you want your final product to be. Obviously thicker fudge makes less pieces. I always go for about 1/2 inch thick.
5. Finish wrapping the mix, and put it, pan and all, into the freezer for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, remove the pan from the freezer and either eat the fudge, or put it in the fridge. Without the pan.

I actually managed to ruin a loaf pan by leaving it in the fridge for a few days. No idea what happened. Probably because I buy the cheapest pans I can find at Walmart, which is an assorted five pan set for five dollars. Yeah, I’m cheap. Whatever.

Chocolate Semi-Paleo-Wannabe Cookies

I am just terrible. I’ve been away for quite some time. I already mentioned that I’m really, really bad about keeping up with things like this, though.

We have floors in our house now, so I got new toys. I got a new vacuum and a steam mop. It’s a cheapie vacuum, but I love it. My only issue is that the hose is a tad short for my tastes. But if I really need a long hose I guess I can unearth the shop vac (joy). I lovelovelove my steam mop. I got the Shark. Mainly because it’s by Europro, the same company that makes my beloved Ninja blender and food processor. Buuut Alex says we’re taking the steam mop back, and he’ll get me a real steamer, because apparently the mop isn’t good enough. I use it for deep cleaning, it’s not really made for that. So, bummer.

It’s just so nice to be able to walk around on a nice clean floor, and not have to worry about splinters or getting staples/nails in your foot.

Also, I made cookies yesterday. I call them chocolate semi-paleo-wannabe cookies because they are just that. I adapted a gluten free recipe from hersheyskitchens. I am so bad. But it’s our anniversary, dammit, and we’re working a lot, and I got all hormonal and felt emotionally insecure, so hush it I wanted my cookies.

Ingredients:
3-4 tablespoons unsweetened unprocessed cocoa powder
2 – 2.5/3 cup canned unsweetened coconut milk, shaken well
1/4-1/3 cup 100% natural pure cane sugar (this is where the semi-paleo comes in)
2 cups chopped walnuts
1 teaspoon virgin expeller pressed coconut oil

Method:
1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Dump the cocoa into a bowl.
3. I had shelled walnuts that weren’t chopped, so I threw them into my processor and then dumped them in on top of the cocoa.
4. Add the coconut milk. I know my measurement doesn’t make sense. You know I’m not good with measurements.
5. Add the sugar. Mix everything together, add the coconut oil, then mix again.
6. Drop spoonfuls onto a foil lined cookie sheet. I pressed mine down slightly. These cookies don’t change shape, they just set and firm up.
7. Bake 8-10 minutes.

If you don’t like being healthy you can view the original recipe here.

I only left out the vanilla because I’m a freakazoid and allergic to it. Don’t ask me, I don’t make the rules.

Careful, now, though. Don’t make these too often. Walnuts have super high levels of Omega-6.

So eating these for breakfast.